There is no way that we can all see eye-to-eye, but we can reasonably agree to disagree — and still be friends. We don’t need to get mad and insult one another or be rude, do we? After 40 years of an interesting marriage, my husband and I don’t see eye-to-eye on many things. But we totally agreed on child rearing. We compromise and in his words “tolerate each other.” I still see it my way and he still sees it his way. That’s life.

A man on the street the other day said, “I always read your column but I don’t always agree with it.” I said, “Thank you for reading. I did not expect you to always agree with me, but I don’t take it personally.” He laughed and I smiled. We are still friends. I see him at church every Sunday and shake hands.

There are few people who receive more criticism than columnists. My answer to that is if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Just because it is my opinion does not mean it has to be your opinion, right? And if I say it, there is no law that says you have to like it, right? I most likely don’t agree with everything you have to say either.

In my travels around the world on trains, planes, and ships, I surely don’t see eye-to-eye with things that I encounter along the way. I tolerate them though and sometimes find them hard to tolerate.

As a non-smoker and an asthma victim, I have a hard time tolerating cigarette smoke. It makes me physically ill and sometimes puts me in the hospital. As does perfume. I was on a plane from Miami to Nashville last month and it seemed that everybody going to Tennessee was saturated in perfume. I had an asthma attack and have been having asthma attacks since that day. That was Oct. 15. I will likely cough all winter because of perfume and I feel that I am normally a healthy person. It is at the workplace and in church and even at Weight Watchers.

Asthma is the only sickness I usually have and it is spurred by perfume, candles, after-shave lotion and the cigarette smoke of others. And that is not an opinion; it’s a fact.

Another thing that I can’t agree with is loud music in restaurants! Someone tell me why there is loud music everywhere. What has happened to quiet conversation? What happened to a quiet dinner in the cozy corner of a nice restaurant where friends can congregate and enjoy pleasing conversation?

Loud music was on the cruise ship. Loud music is in grocery stores and in department stores — even restrooms! Loud music is in cars sitting at the redlight. So loud, in fact, that it shakes the cars around it. Loud music is so irritating and in fact, I quit going to restaurants where they won’t turn it down. It is their loss, not mine.

I refuse to sit in a restaurant and eat where I cannot hear the people at my table when they talk to me. I am not hard of hearing. I have a hearing test each year for my job. But some of my friends wear a hearing aid and the music drives them up the wall. Older people are the ones who spend the money, and we eat out three or four times a week. We eat at Frisch’s Big Boy most of the time because Herman respects his customers and turns the music down or off at request.

When I eat lunch at a restaurant, I am usually alone. I like to enjoy a glass of tea, eating my lunch in peace and quiet, and think about what I will write for my column — or read the newspaper. In most restaurants, the music is so loud I cannot think about anything at all except getting done and getting out of there as fast as possible! When I pay good money for a nice quiet dinner somewhere, I like to be able to have a conversation with my guests without yelling. I cannot stand music so loud it makes my eyes water. And I am not alone.

Last night, my husband wanted to eat at a local buffet and enjoy a nice steak. The mature people standing in line were complaining about the loud music. We asked the manager to please turn it down. He said he did not know who turned it up, but he did not turn it down. We did not see eye-to eye, but we won’t go there again. Nothing personal.

It does little good to get upset when we don’t agree with other people. A zebra does not change its stripes. All we can do is change what we do about it. We all have our own ideas about how things should be done. We all have our likes and dislikes. I’m glad to have a forum to express my own opinion. Feel free to disagree with me. I guarantee you won’t be the first and it does not hurt my feelings.

I could talk for hours about my ideas on child rearing and movies, and how I cringe when I see people carrying sleeping babies around with pop in their bottles, rotting their teeth. And how I hate to see people park in handicapped spaces. But I won’t bore you more. You get my drift. After all, we can’t all see eye-to-eye.

Shirley Caudill of London is a former newspaper editor/publisher and longtime freelance columnist. She is a Nashville native who has lived in Kentucky 40 years. She has six children, 11 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren and is married to a retired Army First Sergeant. She can be reached at gunnstar4912@gmail.com