Loving enough to let go

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September 6, 2006

animal advocate

Anonymous The Times-Tribune Wed Sep 06, 2006, 10:57 AM EDT

What is the ultimate, unselfish gift you can afford a loyal best friend? It’s truly costly, not in dollars and cents, but in personal pain and heartache.

A couple of weeks ago my sister, Tamera, gave that gift to her long-time best friend, Chewie. She spent many weeks wrestling with the decision, but at last she knew that she loved him so much she had to let go. She wouldn’t allow him to suffer any longer.

Chewie was elderly. He had gone blind. He could no longer get up and down unassisted. Often he was confused. His quality of life was gone.

I drove as Chewie took his final trip. He often cried out, and I knew without a doubt Tamera had made the right, but very difficult, decision.

My heart ached for her, but I knew there was no way to spare her the grief that she felt. When you love a friend that much, it inevitably hurts to say good-bye. There will be tears, oceans of tears.

It is heart wrenching to choose euthanasia or “put to sleep” a friend. Sometimes the circumstances demand that the decision be made spontaneously, such as in the case of an accident.

At other times, old age and disease creeps up, and it is easy to explain away the symptoms. As was the case with Chewie, he didn’t get in such bad shape over night. There were times when it appeared his condition was improving. Maybe it was or maybe it was what my sister hoped.

In making such a decision, there are always questions: Could he get better? Is there something that could be done to cure his illness? Should help be sought elsewhere? The truth is you are looking for a miracle to cure the best friend you don’t want to live without.

When I began researching this topic for my column, I knew there was an available resource at home. We have several breed books, two on German Shepherds specifically. One of those books has a section about knowing when to say good-bye. Every time I pass those pages I get a sick feeling and tears sting my eyes. I know the words are true, but I don’t want to think about it. So I turn the pages quickly.

In coming to peace with such a decision, there are some major considerations:

Is he in constant pain? What are the chances for substantial improvement in his condition? What is his quality of life? Does he enjoy living?

Your veterinarian can help answer some of those questions. He can advise as to the options for treatment or pain management.

He can also answer any questions you have about euthanasia. He can explain the process. Although it is painful, you may discuss such options as being with your pet as he passes away.

You will need to decide how you will care for your pet’s body after euthanasia. Will you bring him home for burial or choose cremation? You might choose to keep the ashes in a special container or scatter them over a favorite play area.

These are heart-breaking decisions to make. Just remember, the sadness you feel is nothing compared to the joy and companionship your friend has afforded you through the years.

Life is short. Life is even shorter for our furry best friends. The reality is that it’s never easy to say good-bye.

Spend quality time with your best friend every day. When the end comes, there’ll be no regrets, just multitudes of precious memories.

Real love sometimes means letting go.

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Vickie Bramlett

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